Football
Roasting Teams Around the B1G Conference After Week 2
Big Ten West Division
Illinois (Overall: 1-1; B1G: 0-0)
SP+ rank: Overall 52nd, Offense 75th, Defense 28th, Special Teams 13th
Previous week’s result: (L) at Kansas, 34-23
Thoughts: As a longtime vocal Lance Leipold Supporter, I love to see his Jayhawks doing well in a TV window where there isn’t much competition for eyeballs. While the final margin of victory is only 11 points, this game was a blowout. KU had Illinois in hell all game, holding leads of 21-0, 28-7, and 34-7 throughout the night.
Luke Altmyer is responsible for the most casual 72-yard touchdown run in the history of football. pic.twitter.com/G102IZiMdj
— Ben Stevens (@BenScottStevens) September 9, 2023
What should be especially concerning for Bret Bielema is that the Illini defense was the weak link in this game. Illinois’ rushing offense was particularly impressive but it didn’t matter one little bit and their numbers were goosed a ton by QB Luke Altmeyer’s 72-yard TD run where all of Kansas’ controllers stopped working at the same time. A home game with Penn State, who has looked like the best team in the conference so far, awaits Illinois on Saturday and I couldn’t imagine a worse game to have on the schedule after that Kansas loss.
Sucks to suck, Bielema!
Up next: Saturday, Sept. 16, vs. No. 7 Penn State, 11 a.m. CT, FOX
Iowa (Overall: 2-0; B1G: 0-0)
SP+ rank: Overall 32nd, Offense 87th, Defense 1st (!!!), Special Teams 18th
Previous week’s result: (W) at Iowa State, 20-13
Thoughts: In a game only Iowans could love, the Hawkeyes were victorious over their in-state rival Cyclones and every stereotype about Iowa/Iowa State games happened. There was a defensive touchdown, excellent punting from both teams, and absolutely putrid offense that set the sport back years if not centuries. Brian Ferentz’s vaunted offense managed to only score 13 points (although defensive scores DO count for his 25 ppg contract stipulation lmaooooo) which was fewer than they scored in the first game. They’re going to need to run the score up against a stinky Western Michigan team on Saturday because conference play starts soon and points will be hard to come by there.
Iowa’s defense is, as always, very, very good.
Up next: Saturday, Sept. 16, vs. Western Michigan, 2:30 p.m. CT, BTN
Minnesota (Overall: 2-0; B1G: 1-0)
SP+ rank: Overall 42nd, Offense 79th, Defense 6th, Special Teams 78th
Previous week’s result: (W) vs. Eastern Michigan, 25-6
Thoughts: If you need a flipback on Sunday during the Packers game, the undefeated, and No. 1 ranked, Wisconsin volleyball team is playing at undefeated, and No. 3 ranked, Florida at 2 p.m. CT on ESPN2. The Badgers beat Marquette on Wednesday night at Fiserv Forum in front of a state-record crowd for a women’s sporting event and the largest (indoor) regular season NCAA volleyball crowd too.
The Badgers have already beaten No. 15 Baylor (in Minneapolis), No. 21 Arkansas (twice, on the road), No. 24 Tennessee (at home), to go along with the win over Marquette who is receiving votes still due to their incredibly difficult early season schedule. UW will also be looking for revenge against the Gators who came into the Kohl Center last season and beat Wisconsin in five sets in front of a sold out crowd.
Wisconsin and Marquette fans set the indoor attendance record for a match with 17,037 fans in the arena tonight pic.twitter.com/rOaYve9Y12
— Bremen Keasey (@Keasinho) September 14, 2023
I’m sure none of this is news to many of you, but if you haven’t gotten aboard the UW Volleyball Train there is no better time to start than this Sunday. I’m sure some stuff happened during Minnesota’s win over Eastern Michigan but I’ll be damned if I’m going to look up anything about it.
Up next: Saturday, Sept. 16, at No. 20 North Carolina, 2:30 p.m. CT, ESPN
Nebraska (Overall: 0-2; B1G: 0-1)
SP+ rank: Overall 72nd, Offense 90th, Defense 51st, Special Teams 107th
Previous week’s result: (L) at No. 22 Colorado, 36-14
Thoughts: PRIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME!
This Nebraska team is AWFUL. The first team that loses to them should have to fold their program quite honestly. Hope you’re ready, Northern Illinois.
“wow Nebraska shooting itself in the foot,” Gus Johnson says in what may have been just a voice memo he keeps saved for convenience
— Matt Swartz (@MattSwartz723) September 9, 2023
Up next: Saturday, Sept. 16, vs. Northern Illinois, 6 p.m. CT, FS1
Northwestern (Overall: 1-1; B1G: 0-1)
SP+ rank: Overall 81st, Offense 111th, Defense 38th, Special Teams 82nd
Previous week’s result: (W) vs. UTEP, 38-7
Thoughts: Look, if Nebraska is AWFUL I don’t even know what word you’d use to describe this Northwestern outfit. And yet…they kicked the crap out of UTEP on Saturday! I did not see that coming, especially once you consider how inept they looked in their season-opening loss to Rutgers. The ‘Cats might win two games this year which will win the three bettors (all related to players on the team) who bet “over” on their season win total a bunch of money.
The only thing that anyone should know about the Northwestern vs UTEP game is that UTEP’s kicker is named Buzz Flabiano
— Daniel Olinger (@dan_olinger) September 9, 2023
This box score is really funny to look at because the game was tied at seven heading into the third quarter and then Northwestern’s electric (???) offense dropped 21 points in about six minutes and the rout was on. NU also picked off UTEP’s quarterback three times. They should get steamrolled by Duke in the NERRRRRRRDS Bowl.
Up next: Saturday, Sept. 16, at No. 21 Duke, 2:30 p.m. CT, ACC Network
Purdue (Overall: 1-1; B1G: 0-0)
SP+ rank: Overall 61st, Offense 61st, Defense 67th, Special Teams 113th
Previous week’s result: (W) vs. Virginia Tech, 24-17
Thoughts: This game was delayed for five and a half hours due to thunderstorms and heavy rain and apparently the schools even considered canceling it. New head coach Ryan Walters is probably happy they didn’t since he earned his first win with the Boilermakers. Purdue didn’t look that great, but you can say that about every Big Ten West team so far this season. It’s going to be a WILD ride to crown a division champ this year, baby.
purdue pete is objectively scarier than the “sand man” oh noooooo you mean the guy who brings dream?? we got this big dipshit with buggy ass eyes and a giant hammer and he WILL kill you
— cortado jones 🚂 (@JamesKnowsBall_) September 9, 2023
Up next: Saturday, Sept. 16, vs. Syracuse, 6:30 p.m. CT, NBC
Wisconsin (Overall: 1-1; B1G: 0-0)
SP+ rank: Overall 29th, Offense 50th, Defense 19th, Special Teams 38th
Previous week’s result: (L) at Washington State, 31-22
Thoughts: This was a disappointing game all around. Wazzu is a good, not great, non-conference opponent that a team like Wisconsin should beat 75-80 percent of the time and the Badgers have now lost two years in a row to the Cougars. That really sucks and speaks to how far this team has fallen in recent years. You can also look at their recent record against Minnesota and the rest of the Big Ten West (not you, Purdue) and see a change too. The Badgers are not in any place to walk on the field and assume victory against anyone any more. Hell, Buffalo gave them fits AT Camp Randall and then the Bulls returned home and lost to Fordham! That’s disgusting stuff.
At the beginning of the offseason I was preaching caution and tempered expectations for UW because of the coaching change and roster turnover but I got seduced by practice reports of the offense looking good and all of the new players fitting in seamlessly and how Luke Fickell was saying all of the right things. By the time the season started I was pretty certain that the Badgers were going to win the West and might only lose one game along the way.
What a dipshit I am!
I probably should have given a little more credence to the fact that QB Tanner Mordecai kept getting picked off in the Spring Game by a Wisconsin secondary that isn’t that great when thinking about what this team’s ceiling was going to be.
Kind of funny that Allen leads the B1G in receptions after Week 2 pic.twitter.com/f87jOLnzi7
— akschaaf (@akschaaf) September 11, 2023
The annoying thing is, the Badgers didn’t even play THAT poorly against Washington State. A number of the advanced stats were actually in their favor, but a few major stats decidedly weren’t. Chief among them were turnovers (Wisconsin had three turnovers; Wazzu had zero) and third down conversions (Wazzu converted 8-of-16 and 1-of-1 on fourth down; Wisconsin went 6-of-14 and 0-of-1 respectively). The Cougars, unlike the Badgers, converted their red zone chances into touchdowns instead of field goals too.
Per usual, there is plenty to clean up this week in practice. My expectations for the rest of the season have now settled at “hope we make a mid-tier bowl game and beat two out of three of our Quadrangle of Hate rivals.” Hopefully those are far exceeded, but I doubt it.
Wisconsin has abandoned the ground war and has thus invited the wrath of god. They deserve this.
— beng (@kicknyrgios) September 10, 2023
Up next: Saturday, Sept. 16, vs. Georgia Southern, 11 a.m. CT, BTN
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