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A Judgmental Women’s Thoughts on the Wisconsin Basketball Team

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Dec 6, 2022; Madison, Wisconsin, USA; Wisconsin Badgers forward Steven Crowl (22) high-fives forward Tyler Wahl (5) during the first half against the Maryland Terrapins at the Kohl Center. Mandatory Credit: Kayla Wolf-USA TODAY Sports

I am, what most would call, a very typical female sports fan. Don’t get me wrong; I understand sports, especially Wisconsin basketball. And I’m not the girl who refers to teams by their jersey colors or players by their numbers, nor do I ask 20 questions about basic rules or make dumb comments about obvious things. 

What I mean when I call myself a typical female fan is that, while watching a game, I notice things and form opinions that men often don’t see, i.e., appearance, mannerisms, accessory choices, etc.

I have been a big Wisconsin basketball fan since middle school. Upon meeting my husband and beginning to watch games with him, he realized I had a lot of random opinions. He is generally interested in my takes and looks forward to my thoughts at the start of each season. While he might not always agree, he’s generally entertained. 

So here’s my shot at seeing if anyone else finds any humor in my judgemental thoughts on the Wisconsin basketball team. 

*Note: All of these comments are intended to be light-hearted, and I have withheld sharing this because I fear hurting anyone’s feelings. I know these players are real kids with much more talent and potential than I would ever dream of having, and I in no way think anything negative about them. 

No. 1: Steven Crowl’s Hair…Yikes

Dec 6, 2022; Madison, Wisconsin, USA; Wisconsin Badgers guard Max Klesmit (11) and forward Steven Crowl (22) celebrate their win over the Maryland Terrapins at the Kohl Center. Mandatory Credit: Kayla Wolf-USA TODAY Sports

Let’s kick it off with my longest-standing opinion, Steven Crowl’s hair. 

While it has come a long way since he first started at UW, it still looks like the kind of haircut an elementary school kid gets. Many players have what appears to be a fresh cut every single game day. Do they invite Steve to those haircuts? 

Honestly, though, his hair fits what I think his personality is. A sweet, shy, maybe a little sheltered guy that all Wisconsin basketball fans have a soft spot for.

No. 2: My irrational love Jordan Davis

Jan 3, 2023; Madison, Wisconsin, USA; Wisconsin Badgers guard Jordan Davis (2) passes the ball against the Minnesota Golden Gophers during the first half at the Kohl Center. Mandatory Credit: Kayla Wolf-USA TODAY Sports

I’ve had an irrational love for Jordan Davis for the last two years. As someone who grew up with a set of twins in my friend group, I know the rivalry between them can be intense. Watching Jordan become Johnny’s No.1 fan without appearing to be jealous absolutely warmed my heart. 

My husband and I attended the Battle 4 Wisconsin charity softball game over the summer. Jordan participated while Johnny did not, yet the children yelled out from the stands to Jordan, “Where’s Johnny” or “Say hi to Johnny for me.” 

As I was thinking how bad it would suck to still be overshadowed by your twin who has moved on to the NBA, Jordan kindly responded and showed no signs of bitterness whatsoever. 

And if that wasn’t enough, Jordan performed incredibly at the charity softball game. Based on his technique, it was VERY apparent that this guy was not a baseball/softball player. VERY clear. Yet he made some pretty damn impressive plays, despite the ugly form. 

I want nothing but the best for this kid and hope to see more growth from him as the Wisconsin basketball season continues.

No. 3 Markus Ilver’s Face

Oct 30, 2022; Madison, Wisconsin, USA; Wisconsin Badgers Markus Ilver (35) rebounds the ball against the UW-Eau Claire Blugolds during the first half at the Kohl Center. Mandatory Credit: Kayla Wolf-USA TODAY Sports

Markus Ilver is a really tough one for me, and the only reason I have for my animosity is his face. 

Does anyone else think that Ilver constantly looks like he’s on the verge of a nap? 

They show him on the bench or in the huddle, and I’m always doing a double take to ensure he’s not asleep. Even when he’s on the floor, he looks bored. It might just be me, but I can’t unsee it. 

No. 4 Carter Gilmore and Troy Bolton’s Dad are Doppelgangers

Jan 10, 2023; Madison, Wisconsin, USA; Wisconsin Badgers forward Carter Gilmore (14) looks to pass the ball during the first half at the Kohl Center. Mandatory Credit: Kayla Wolf-USA TODAY Sports

Lastly, Carter Gilmore and Troy Bolton’s dad are doppelgangers. Many of you have already weighed in on this in my husband’s Twitter poll. For reference, 54% of the voters agreed with me. 

If you don’t know, I am referring to the character coach Jack Bolton (Troy Bolton’s dad) in High School Musical. 

It’s important to note that I watched High School Musical the day before my husband posted the poll. (I was introducing my daughter to a Disney classic, so you can stop judging why a 28-year-old woman is watching HSM on a random Monday night). 

So that was on my mind upon watching the Wisconsin basketball game the next day. I’m also what most would consider a High School Musical connoisseur, so I feel like my opinion weighs a little bit heavier than the middle-aged men who voted, having never seen the movie. 

I’d like to clarify that this is in no way an insult. Watching the movie as an adult, I thought to myself, “Troy Bolton’s dad is kinda hot.” 

So Carter, apparently, you have the potential to be a good-looking basketball-coaching dad someday.

Final Thoughts on the Wisconsin Basketball team

As I said, this is all meant to be light-hearted. I mean, absolutely no hate for any of these guys. 

I’ve never put my opinions on the internet, which makes me a little uncomfortable. Remember, I’m a girl and a pretty soft one at that. So if you hate my opinions on the Wisconsin basketball team, consider going easy on me. 


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