Wisconsin Football: B1G Roast & Badgers Bye Week Recap

The bye week is mercifully over, and we can now get back to shouting about the Wisconsin Badgers football team in earnest.

As much as I love the Badgers and love watching them play football…I also hate it because I can’t keep myself from freaking out during the game, before the game, after the game, really all day Saturday tbh. The bye week was nice because you get to sit around all day and be A Hater as other teams do stupid shit.

Hell, I even went to a movie on Saturday afternoon! The new Paw Patrol is an excellent way to kill two hours with your children while also getting delicious movie theater popcorn. Win/win!

Wisconsin Football (Overall: 3-1; B1G: 1-0)

SP+ rank: Overall 25th, Offense 32nd, Defense 17th, Special Teams 14th

Previous week’s result: (W) at Purdue, 38-17. 

Bye Week/Purdue Thoughts: Now that we are over a week removed from Wisconsin football & their resounding victory over Purdue, the one-millionth straight time that’s happened, let’s take a quick trip down memory lane before discussing the bye week. 

I can’t even describe how blessed I feel to cheer for a Wisconsin Badgers team with a rock-solid placekicker. Transfer kicker Nathaniel Vakos has been lights out so far this season, making all 14 of his extra points AND all seven of his field goals!

Against the Boilermakers, he went 3-for-3 (on both XPs and FGs) with a long of 48 yards. There are NFL kickers who can’t do that! His field goals also have come at important times. Purdue scored a touchdown as time expired in the third quarter to cut UW’s lead to 10. If Wisconsin football didn’t score on their next drive, Purdue would have all the momentum, and the home crowd would’ve been in full throat. When the Badgers football stalled out at Purdue’s 30, Vakos came out and coolly boomed a 48-yarder and closed the door on the Boilermakers, who didn’t score the rest of the game.

The Big Ten West is historically stinky this year, and Wisconsin, while they are the most talented team in the division, will find themselves in some low-scoring rock fights moving forward. With a kicker as accurate as Vakos, they should feel extremely confident that they’ll be able to win these close games.

Speaking of the West Division…hoo, buddy, do those teams blow chunks. Iowa’s offense is only allowed to be aired after 9 pm due to its NC-17 rating for gore, Illinois lost to Purdue by 25 points, Minnesota needed to come back to beat Louisiana at home, Northwestern football is just a figment of your imagination, and Nebraska only scored any points against Michigan because the Wolverines had their backups in for over a quarter.

Based on this one play alone I think Wisconsin Wide Receiver Will Pauling could be like the 5th best quarterback in the Big Ten this year pic.twitter.com/zW1q7C9yfe

— Daniel Olinger (@dan_olinger) September 29, 2023

Lastly, a shoutout to Wisconsin football WR Will Pauling & his Mahomesian arm slot on his trick play throw against Purdue. He could probably start at QB for a couple of B1G teams next week.

What’s Next for the Wisconsin Football Team?

Up next: Saturday, Oct. 7, vs. Rutgers, 11 a.m. CT, Peacock.

Rutgers Thoughts: You do not, under any circumstances, have to “hand it to” Rutgers football…but they are 4-1 this year, and they’ve generally looked better than “Embarrassment To The Sport,” which is how they normally operate. 

They haven’t beaten a team with a winning record this year, and their most recent win, a 52-3 shellacking, came against a Wagner team that lost by 30 to Fordham earlier in the season.

As it stands, Wisconsin football has 399 Big Ten wins all-time.

The #Badgers could reach the 400-win mark with a victory against Rutgers next Saturday.

— Dillon Graff (@DillonGraff) September 29, 2023

Rutgers QB Gavin Wimsatt has thrown for under 50 yards (once) more times than he has for over 200 yards (zero), and the offense as a whole only averages 346.6 yards per game, only better than Minnesota, Indiana, Northwestern, and Iowa (240.8 ypg lmaoooooooooo) in the Big Ten.

Wisconsin football, for those wondering, averages 427.5 yards per game. On the other side of the ball, their defense has been better than expected and is fourth in the B1G in yards allowed (267.8 YPG), while the Badgers are third worst, allowing 375 yards per game. Again, please see Rutgers’ schedule again to explain these numbers.

Since being “welcomed” to the Big Ten due to their excellent football history and certainly NOT their proximity to the New York City media market, the Scarlet Knights have been a stain on the conference’s reputation for football, it’s a good thing this game will only be streamed on Peacock because either Wisconsin Badgers football spends four quarters kicking Rutgers’ shit in at Camp Randall Stadium OR it’s close and I [REDACTED] myself. I am a well-adjusted adult with a family and a mortgage.

Fun Tweet of the Week I Wanted To Include Just Because

I would watch an hour-long documentary on this man and how he came to be in this exact situation.

I wanna know the backstory to this 😂 pic.twitter.com/i2szfANwTK

— Idris Elbow 💪🏾 (@YallLuvCris) September 30, 2023

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